Pairing: Angel/-
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine, never have been, never will be.damnit. No insult, injury, or infringement is intended.
Distribution: My LJ, the willangelus LJ community, Soulmates, Shades of Grey, and anyone else I've previously given permission to. Anyone else, just ask.
Feedback: Yes please. Crave it like the little praise whore I am.
Spoilers: AtS Season 3. Goes AU around Loyalty.
Author's note 1: First full-fledged songfic. The song is 'Rattlesnake Smile' by Kane (I own neither the song or the band). The damn bunny wouldn't quit biting my ankles until I wrote it. I was inspired by the line, "When you get stung with the heart of a little child."
Author's note 2: Thank you, Tonya, for the beta. You are wondiferous.
Summary: Angel and Angelus agree on one thing, Connor.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Every time I looked at him, Angelus purred contentedly in my mind. He talked to me, told me how proud he is of our son, Connor. Angelus looked at him and saw a lasting link to Darla; I looked at him and saw a future.
It surprised me really. I would have thought he'd hate Connor because Darla staked herself to give him life, but he doesn't. Angelus and I both felt and saw how badly Darla wanted to see her child, wanted to hold him. She loved him and, therefore, so does Angelus.
The real clincher though, was the night I couldn't get Connor to stop crying. Angelus whispered, "Let me try." I was out of ideas so I thought what the hell. I brought my demon out and my baby boy stopped crying. Connor reached up, touched my true face, and giggled. We were both goners. I think we somehow blended together at that moment. It was a moment of true happiness for both of us, but I was still here. I'm not sure how or why, but I was.
We have an agreement of sorts. If I should somehow disappear, he won't go after my family and in return I let him out to play when we go up against demons. Most importantly, we both take care of Connor.
Wesley came to me a few days ago and I could smell the fear and desperation pouring off him. I knew he'd been working himself to the bone, but I had no idea this was coming. See, he'd found this prophecy. It said something along the lines of, 'And the father will kill the son.' Wes thought it was about me and Connor and he may have been right. My little boy had been starting to smell like food to me. That scared me more than Holtz or whatever it was that Wolfram and Hart had planned for me. I didn't want to do anything that could possible hurt my boy; he's my salvation.
Wes wanted to take him somewhere safe until we could figure something out. Angelus wasn't thrilled with the idea, but thought it might be for the best. Connor's safety is pretty much the only thing we agree on. So, I let my son go for a while, until we could find out for sure what was going on.
I'm going to kill them all: Holtz, his whore Justine, Sahjhan, Linwood, Gavin, and.Lilah.
They are going to feel pain like they have never known before. They took my son and almost took away one of my best friends. Wesley is lying in a hospital bed with his throat slit, unable to speak, thanks to Justine. She took Connor, and for that trespass alone should die. However, she hurt Wes and so she's going to suffer for as long as I can make it last.
Sahjhan, once I re-corporealize his demonic ass, is going to be permanently put out of commission. This is all his doing. Bringing Holtz to this time, creating the false prophecy about me killing Connor.Quor-toth.
Then there are the lawyers from Wolfram and Hart. Spiking my regular supply with my son's blood so he'd seem like food, making deals with Sahjhan. And worst of all; keeping me from getting my son back. Connor is with Holtz in some thrice-damned hell dimension and I don't know if I'm ever going to see him again.
And if by some miracle I do get Connor back? What will he think of me? Will he even know who I am? Will he have been poisoned by Holtz to loathe the very sight of me?
God love Fred and her brilliant cracked physicist mind. She's found a way into Quor-toth and I'm going to get my boy back. Holtz had better pray Connor is healthy and happy or his death will be far worse than he'd ever imagined. I may have been a monster, but what this man has done goes far beyond the games Angelus played. I didn't have this soul when I destroyed his family. I'm a vampire and I killed humans to live. What's his excuse?
Guess it doesn't really matter. I'm getting my son back and Wes is going to be all right. My family will be whole again. Then those responsible will pay.in blood. For now though, I have to get ready for the ritual.
The end
For those interested, here are the
lyrics to Rattlesnake Smile by Kane:
It's been a long time
Since I wore this rattlesnake smile
And a lotta my friends haven't
seen it in quite awhile
I feel my eyes rollin' deep inside
my head
And there's a feeling of misconception
in the air
Yeah, I'm startin' to see
Yeah, I do believe
I used to have a soft southern glowing
face
I used to lead my heartaches with
the chase
When you get stung with the heart
of a little child
Well, that's how you get that rattlesnake
smile
You better keep your distance
In this tangled shape I'm in
Now no one had better touch me
right now
In this cold-blooded thick skin
Oh, I said you better run real fast
When you hear that rattlin' sound
Well, you better run real fast,
man,
Or this one's gonna knock it down
I sit alone and try to shed this
skin that I live in
Trying to clear my vision once
again, hah
Well I ain't no good to no one no
how, not right now
'Cause I forgot to run myself and
I got run down
Do I look like something you can
put in a fuckin' cage?!
Come over here and gimme a kiss
Yeah, I'm startin' to see
Yeah, I do believe
Better keep your distance
From this tangled shape I'm in
Now no one had better touch me
right now
In this cold-blooded thick skin
Better, well, well
Now I said you better run real
fast
When you hear that rattlin' sound
Oh, I said you better run real
fast
Or this one's gonna knock you down
And I sit alone in the desert rain
With my tail in the air
Ohhhhhh